Lenore | Who Dis? (Self-inquiry Revisited)

Read time 2 minutes. You can dig around the archives for a traditional take on the practice. Or you can dig into today’s monologue and see what Lenore has to say on the matter. Self-inquiry Revisited is a stand alone article in our Goth Zen series. Dig it.

In “Just a Little Peace,” we explored a simple shift:
don’t quiet the voice — expand the space.

And when the space gets big enough,
some questions begin to float to the surface:
Who’s talking? What is this place?

Who’s noticing all of this?

It’s the next doorway.

We know what your guru would say. 
But what does Lenore have to say on the subject?

Who Dis?

(Yeah. She gave it a working title.)

Look—if I seem standoffish, it’s not personal.
I’m not even the biggest fan of myself.

Half the time I feel like I’m watching a stranger
trying on my body like a thrift store jacket.

A wallflower in my own mind.

When I walk into a room the first thing I do is get the lay of the landscape.
One glance and I see through the pretending.

There is something about noticing people that simply… eviscerates them.
People feel it, and things get… squirmy.

Or maybe it’s not me. 
Maybe it’s just the noticing.

But all too often it’s like:
Who’s the small thinker with the loud mind over there?

Some say I’m too sensitive.

I say I’m quick to notice.

Either way, it’s dead quietly oppressive.

Here’s the thing that most people don’t get—
Overthinking is a sort of mindlessness.
A lot of bells, whistles and party favors, sweetheart.

You gotta ask yourself, kid:
Are you throwing a party
or is the party throwing you?
The hippies used to call it “a happening.”
Maybe they were onto something.

So who are we?
Everybody’s got an opinion.

Labels… 
A panic room is just a room with lousy decor.
And no one ever thinks to blow the doors off.

But labels just pass right through me.
Nobody puts baby in a corner.

A house party seems like a really big affair—
until you realize there’s no dance floor.

As for me?

I’m whatever’s left when the voice gets bored
and the space begins to wonder.

Not vacant.
Just unclaimed.

Call me what you want, my dear.
Just don’t hold your breath waiting for an answer.

Self-inquiry Revisited
NothingPersonal
(In case you entirely missed it.)

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