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All of this talk that the ego is illusion—how can this be possible? The sense of self is one of the more unique elements of life. On the one hand, it is almost impossible to locate and define. On the other hand, it is ever-present, barraging us with an endless stream of thoughts and emotions—compelling us to endlessly feed and protect it.
Zen Drop 004 mysteriously tells us that there were never any walls to begin with. Zen Drop 005 teaches, “These walls are a mirage—but to the extent that they confine you, they exist. The separate self is also illusory—but if it defines you, then it’s trapping you too.”
So let’s take a moment to step back and have a closer look at this illusion of self. Perhaps in defining it, we can begin to minimize how much it defines us along the way.
A useful analogy
There is a useful analogy that points both to the birth of the ego and its illusory quality. Have you ever been driving down the road on a hot day and seen the shimmering, wavy heat lines rising off the pavement in the distance? What is going on there? Why does this phenomenon occur? Are these heat lines real, or are they illusion? And what does this have to do with the stink lines coming off Pig-Pen, the Peanuts character? (Sorry, we’re getting ahead of ourselves.)
Heat shimmer occurs when there is a sharp difference between hot air near a surface, such as asphalt, and cooler air just above it. The hot air is less dense than the cool. When light passes through these layers, it bends, causing the distorted, shimmering effect. Perspective also matters. The effect is most pronounced when you look at a flat surface from a low angle.
So what can we take from this? First, we see that there is a certain set of necessary conditions required for this phenomenon to arise. Now recall our previous lesson regarding distinction and duality. The light hitting the layers of air is akin to pure perception. The air itself is akin to distinction—but a misalignment appears. A subtle duality. The light hits this difference in air temperature and bends, resulting in a distortion—a shimmer of me, mine, and this matters.
Finally, the angle of vision matters. Sometimes this is more or less out of our control. When we are racing down the road, there is nothing we can do. We must stay in our lane. Learning how to properly position ourselves, whenever possible, is an important element of our practice.
The nature of the illusion of self
All of this gives rise to an interesting question: Is this heat shimmer real or illusion? Remember, illusion does not mean that there is nothing there. Rather, something is there—it just doesn’t exist exactly the way we think it does.
The shimmering is real—light is actually being bent. But it becomes illusion when the brain interprets those waves as solid objects or distortions in the road itself. The result is a real phenomenon producing a false interpretation—an interpretation that assumes something more real, more substantial exists than is actually the case.
So, why did I bring poor old Pig-Pen into the equation? Charles Schulz wasn’t just showing dirt. He was illustrating presence—without form. Something that trails the character but isn’t the character. Like ego, the stink lines don’t belong to Pig-Pen, exactly. They’re just the visible trace of something that can’t quite be drawn. (Yes, I have just said that the ego is the stink lines of reality. Deal with it.)
Where does all of this leave us? Because it feels like a bit of a trap. After all, the conditions are already set. You can’t remove the sun. You can’t control the air temperature. Sometimes, as we’ve said, you can’t even control your angle of perception.
First and foremost, you can realize that the wavering road ahead is just air playing tricks on light—and the ego is just mind playing tricks on perception.
Next time the illusion of self grabs hold, just remember it is a mirage that has arisen out of a certain set of conditions. Then picture the heat shimmer. See the stink lines all around you. Do it in a glance (take a knowing whiff?) and let it all go. And ease on down, ease on down the road.
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