In my last series of lessons I discussed the topic of letting go at great length. Today we are going to take that topic and merge it into our current discussion regarding active meditation practice. The crux of this lesson involves a practice that we can turn to in our leisure time. On the one hand, it offers us an opportunity to practice with some very common and relevant challenges. On the other hand, it offers us an opportunity to do so in a controlled environment, where the stakes are exceedingly low.
The brain can be a funny thing. Some studies are showing that it doesn’t differentiate very well between reality and fantasy. This study, for example, suggests that the more vividly we imagine something, the more likely we are to believe it is reality. While we might just be thinking about the possibility of something terrible happening, the brain might be thinking that something terrible actually has happened. This is yet another reason that developing an ability to ease the imaginative/emotive feedback loop and let go is so powerful.
It is important that we learn to turn to our practice of letting go as quickly and as often as possible. In order to do that, some retraining is likely going to be necessary. We need to learn to trust the letting go process, to see its effectiveness. Doing so will give us the confidence and conviction to turn to it first, in real life situations, instead of allowing ourselves to get emotional or reactive. Active meditation practice is a great tool for doing all of this.
We get lost in our stories
Existence in the modern world offers many experiences that simulate real life interaction. I’m thinking of television, movies, books or watching sports. More and more the virtual worlds of video gaming and social media have entered the equation. I, for one, have always enjoyed an interesting story or exciting sports event.
A good story can suck us in. It can make us feel emotions and desires for fictional people. Scary movies and thrillers are specifically designed to get our blood pumping. Watching suspenseful dramas can be agonizing. A bad story can stir things up within us as well. Oftentimes when I have felt that a writer has strayed from the plot or not stayed true to the characters I’ve become aware of a welling up inside. A variety of mental narratives are likely to follow. I don’t like where this is going. Nobody would actually be like that!
Watching a sporting event can be even more dramatic. There were times in my youth when a loss by my favorite team would color and cloud my attitude for an extended period of time. The frustration we experience when our team gets beaten can be all consuming, even though, in the end, we have personally lost nothing. The suspense at the end of a close game can be too much to bear. Some people can’t even watch those final moments and hold their heads in their hands. It’s an interesting way to enjoy life, completely avoiding it altogether.
Active meditation practice of observing and allowing
Situations such as these present an ideal vehicle for practice. Zen often tells us of the importance of becoming a neutral observer, the nonjudgmental witness of life. When we are watching a show or a sporting event then we are forced into this role. There is literally nothing that we can possibly do to affect the outcome of these stories. Yet, as we have said, emotions are stirring up within us, and the brain might be reacting as if these situations are really happening. The opportunity for practice within this controlled environment becomes pretty clear.
The practice is fairly basic and straightforward. Entertainment affords us the opportunity to be taken on a journey. To be truly taken on a journey requires allowing and acceptance. Assuming the position of the neutral observer is the best way to get there. Can we learn to simultaneously observe our mental and emotional activity as we are watching a story or sporting event? Can we learn to accept all of this as it unfolds in front of us?
Avoidance is a poor substitute
Those moments where we feel that we can’t bear to watch are particularly effective for this practice. During such moments the line between reality and illusion is completely blurred. The reason that we are tempted to look away is because we don’t like the feelings that are arising. If we look away then the feelings will subside. Clearly this is not acceptance of and into life. It is avoidance and escapism. How odd that we choose to momentarily escape our lives by enjoying a story, only to be left feeling that we need to escape the story as well.
Neutral observation has the power to cause feelings to subside in a different way. Neutral observation addresses discomfort in the moment and offers the possibility of lasting, stable peace in the future. Over the course of time, regularly relying upon neutral observation to process our emotions will transform us in ways that avoidance can’t.
Remember this previous active meditation practice
This practice is similar to the practice of sitting with an itch in many ways. The biggest similarity is that we are trying to become aware of that line between allowing and resignation. We are not looking to convince ourselves that we don’t care. We are looking to discover that part of ourselves that is okay in this and every moment. This is not an exercise of willpower. It is an honest and open investigation into our inner world. What we are trying to discover is a way to say yes to life that doesn’t involve a need to endure extreme mental activity and emotions as we do it.
Another similarity to our other practices is that we will begin to become more and more familiar with the tendencies of the mind and the ego. We will begin to be able to sense the tendencies arising before they have an opportunity to consume us. My experience is that learning to become aware of these tendencies can be every bit as interesting and satisfying as anything that entertainment has to offer. The more we do it then the more we perfect it. The whole process will become increasingly efficient and second nature. Ideally, over time, it will become our instinctual first reaction. We no longer will get sucked in by illusion. We will observe, allow and let go.
See for yourself
It would be easy to overcomplicate this practice, but there is no reason to do so. The best way to learn from any active meditation practice is to just try it for yourself. As you do so, remind yourself that if you can’t take the position of the neutral observer when watching TV then what chance have you got when life is really coming at you?
I actually find this practice fascinating. It reveals that the mind’s appetite for stories is almost insatiable. One story is never enough. We need to tell ourselves stories about our stories, as we are watching those stories unfold in real time.
Here’s one tip that might be helpful. Occasionally remind yourself to look away from whatever screen you are engaged with from time to time. This is always a good idea when you are facing long hours in front of a screen. This simple act alone will help you to avoid getting sucked in by illusion. It will also reveal the power that short, clean breaks can have in all walks of life and in any situation.
Remember, try not to make this an avoidance or negation of the entertainment you are watching. Instead, try to incorporate this practice seamlessly into your enjoyment of the stories. See if you become aware of the freedom that accompanies the allowing of neutral observation. It is a whole new way of enjoying a story, and it may lead to a whole new way of enjoying life. See how this practice works for you over the course of the next few days. In the next lesson we will discuss some of what we may have learned.
Questions or feedback? Contact me directly.
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