Read time 2 minutes. A basic mindfulness practice that begins with a simple question. This is the first stand alone article in our series regarding mindfulness and meditation.
Today we shall consider one of the earliest and most powerful practices:
Whenever something annoys you, frustrates you, offends you—
ask yourself:
What do I really want to have happen here?
It’s not always easy. But it is that simple.
This is where real mindfulness begins.
Not necessarily with breath or posture,
but with the willingness to interrupt the ego’s reflexive routine.
Stand up to the reflex
You’re bickering with someone you care about. You know the argument is pointless, but the pull to “win” feels overwhelming. That’s the ego.
It wants to be right more than it wants to be well.
So, the moment you notice, you stop. You catch yourself. And then you ask yourself:
What do I really want to have happen here?
Peace. Connection. Lightness.
Not lingering resentment or emotional hangover.
This is not about pretending you’re wrong. It’s about choosing what matters most.
We can also take all of our teachings into consideration:
If our true self isn’t the ego—
who’s left to be offended?
Presence in the wild
You’re stuck in traffic. Someone flips you off.
You’re late. The cashier is slow.
What do you want to have happen?
Do you want justice?
Or do you want to finish your errand in peace?
We say we want peace, but peace demands sacrifice:
our need to win, to react, to teach someone a lesson.
We earn peace by offering it.
Simple ≠ Easy
This practice seems basic. But go ahead and try it.
Then try in relentlessly.
Try it in every frustrating moment, each butting of heads, every egoic flare-up.
You’ll see how often you resist.
You’ll hear the ego demand a response.
And you’ll begin to feel what it means to let go
—while still wide awake inside the storm.
This is how we learn peace isn’t passive.
It’s a choice we make in real time.
And the people around us notice.
They stop escalating. They soften.
And they begin to wonder what shifted in us.
The answer is:
We started asking better questions.
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